Here’s a Sneak Peek of Our Toddler PediaGuide

Please enjoy this exclusive preview of our Toddler PediaGuide! This is the first article in the guide. There are a total of 104 articles—one for each week of parenting your toddler from ages 1–3.

Welcome to Week 1 of Parenting Your Toddler!

Even though 12-month-olds may only be able to say “Mama,” “Dada,” and one other word, they’re often finding their “voice” in other ways. For example, they may express their frustration by throwing food on the floor, pulling their parent’s hair, or rejecting their diaper change. While having a strong voice is a good thing (in the long run), parents don’t usually expect this much opposition so early on.

Get Wise Below About the Unruly Ones and How to Tame Them, Plus My Top 10 Parenting Tips for Toddlers (That I Learned the Hard Way).

The American Academy of Pediatrics (the AAP) recommends that 1-to-2 year-olds get 11-14 hours of shuteye per day (including naps). Naps may get tricky in the upcoming year. Some kids love their 2 naps a day, while others have major FOMO and start refusing their second nap. We’ll talk about this (and what to do about it) as the year unfolds.

Your child can now drink whole milk (limited to 16-24 ounces per day) and eat the foods that you eat (in manageable bites). This will be the standard fare going forward. Because 1-year-olds are in constant motion, feeding issues tend to crop up at this stage. Don’t worry, I’ll provide tips on how to manage them along the way.

As children get deeper into the toddler years, they often insist on brushing their teeth by themselves. While seeking independence is great and all, toddlers aren’t the most thorough when it comes to toothbrushing. If your child insists on wielding the toothbrush, buy 2 toothbrushes: one for them to hold and one for you to hold. Let your child brush first, then swoop in with the second brush to catch any areas that were missed. 

Humans have 20 baby teeth and 32 adult teeth.

There’s a vague order to the way we gain (and lose) our teeth. Babies typically get their front two bottom teeth first, followed by their top 4 front teeth. The picture below shows the general order and timing of when teeth come in (although there’s a lot of variation among kids).

Insider Info: All baby teeth are typically in by 3 years of age. By then, teething should be a thing of the past.

Get Wise About the Top 10 Tips for Preventing Cavities in Toddlers.

No one tells you that the Terrible Twos actually start around 1 year of age and may extend into year 3 and beyond. 

Tantrums, though annoying at times, are not all bad. They give your child a chance to blow off steam and can be pretty amusing. Make sure to get video footage while you can. 

Kids, like most people, want to be in control. By offering your child choices, you’ll give them a sense of independence and a feeling that they’re in charge. In addition, you’ll avoid getting blamed for whatever decision your child makes, because they’re the one who made it. 

Offer 2 choices max so your kiddo doesn’t get too overwhelmed. Also make it clear that some things are not negotiable. For example, your child has to buckle up in their car seat no matter what.

Here’s an Example of How to Offer Choices: If your child makes a fuss about getting dressed, you can say, “You have to get dressed now. Do you want to start with your socks or with your pants?” Hold up each item as you’re naming it. 

Although this tactic may fly over your kid’s head a bit during the early toddler days, they understand more than you think and will eventually get the hang of it. 

Kids love to get intense reactions — both positive and negative — from their parents. Don’t feed the beast by giving the tantrum too much of your energy. Remain calm (easier said than done) and take a breath (or two) so you can respond intentionally (vs. reactively).

Toddlers are highly distractible. Use this to your advantage. If you see a meltdown coming on, try to preempt it by shifting your child’s attention to something else (like a toy). 

Quickly run through a mental checklist of what might be upsetting your child: Are They Hungry? Tired? Bored? Overstimulated? Getting Sick? In Need of a “Good Cry”? You don’t have to go “all Freud” on the situation; just take a few seconds to consider the potential tantrum triggers.

With some tantrums, kids are off to the races and there’s no turning back. In this case, your child may need to get the tantrum out of their system. Give them the space to do so.

Let’s be honest, a lot of parenting is making sh*t up on the fly. There’s no surefire guide to follow or checklist to complete (unfortunately). Kids will, however, quickly alert you to your strengths and weaknesses (especially the latter). Here are a few things I’ve learned (through trial and error) along the way:

Parenting isn’t static. Just when you feel like you’ve mastered one part of parenting, your child will find a new challenge to throw at you. Be flexible and learn to pivot so you can weather the parenting storms.

While we all love to hover, correct, and cajole, give your child the space to make mistakes and learn things on their own. This anti-helicopter approach requires that we bite our tongues and think about the long-term goal – to raise resilient kids who can think for themselves.

All too often, we find ourselves reacting to a situation and parenting out of emotion, rather than giving a problem space. When things go sideways, try to create a pause between your emotions and your reaction. If you’re seeing red, take care of yourself first, before stepping in to “parent.” 

Mantras can help in this situation. For example, you can tell yourself things like: “We’re ok,” “Breathe,” “Our relationship is more important than this,” “I choose love,” or whatever else speaks to you.

As mentioned above, providing choices is a great way to empower kids. It’s also a loophole that gets parents out of being the “bad guy.” Offering too many choices too often, however, can overwhelm a child and set up an expectation that everything is negotiable. This will come back to bite you in the you-know-what when your child goes to school and doesn’t understand why the rules aren’t up for debate.

There’s a great book called “Playful Parenting” by Lawrence J. Cohen that emphasizes the importance of getting on the floor and playing with our children. If we’re honest, though, most of us can only play “pat-a-cake” for so long. 

Luckily, this book espouses quality over quantity. Try to create 10-15 minutes of “connect time” with your child each day during which they get to dictate the play and you’re an engaged participant (i.e. you’re not looking longingly at your smartphone).

Back in the day, children “were seen and not heard.” Today, parents seem to be a cross between Sherpas and unpaid Uber drivers. We’re forever carting our kids around to various play dates and activities, talking about our children, and worrying about them.  

Where’s the All-Important “Me” Time?! For some reason, “Me” time has become a guilty pleasure rather than an act of self-care. If you give everything you have to your child, you’ll get depleted, and may even start to feel a bit resentful. So, make sure to block off some time for yourself, both your sake and the sake of your family.

Opinions are a dime a dozen when it comes to parenting. Everyone wants to put their 2 cents in, and it can be hard to trust yourself and to feel like you’re doing anything right. Plus, it’s natural to want to compare your child to other kids to see how they “measure up.” This, of course, is a losing battle, because there’s always someone “better” at something and you don’t necessarily have all of the facts about the others kids’ ages, medical histories, family histories, and struggles.

So, try to block out the noise, let go of the comparing mind, and focus on what’s most important to you and your family.

There’s nothing like the love between a parent and a child. Because of this bond, it’s easy to start experiencing your child’s highs and lows as if they were your own. Try to get off the emotional rollercoaster, though, and remember that your child has their own journey to travel. This will enable you to be the anchor (i.e. the grown-up) when your little one is caught up in a sea of emotions.

This can be tough because there’s no rulebook for raising kids and we often look outside of ourselves to see if we’re doing it right. Remember that you know your child better than anyone.

Cut yourself some slack and know that not everything has to be (and won’t be) perfect. As Nelson Mandela once said: “I never lose. I either win or I learn.”¹ If you make a mistake or have a bad day, don’t beat yourself up about it, just learn from the experience.

Try to get on the same page with parenting if possible. If it’s not in the cards, though, don’t sweat it too much. Your child will learn to accept that there are different rules in the different homes (if that’s the case). As long as the separate sets of rules are consistent in each environment, things will work out. In addition, try to avoid bashing your ex in front of your kiddo and do your best to keep any arguments on the down-low. Kids tend to model what they see and are smart about reading the energy between their parents.

Be kind to yourself, expect parenting to be messy, and look for the humor in it all. 

“The most important thing she’d learned over
the years was that there was no way to be
a perfect [parent] and a million ways
to be a good one.”

~Jill Churchill 

And…That’s a Wrap!