Toddlers are Notoriously Picky Eaters. Here are 10 Tips to Help You Manage Your Finicky Feeder:
1. Go By the Growth Charts, Not By What Your Child Looks Like or What His/Her Peers Look Like.
Growth charts provide a lot of good, objective information. If your child doesn’t seem to be eating much, but is “following his/her curve” (i.e. he/she is continuing to gain weight and height at an appropriate rate), then all is (probably) well. Assessing your little one’s growth based on how he/she “looks” or measures up to his/her peers is a waste of time because these interpretations are subjective. The numbers don’t lie.
2. Avoid Food Fights.
I’m not talking about the “throwing-food-across-the-table” type of food fight, here. I’m talking about nagging your child to eat when he/she doesn’t want to. Forcing your child to eat creates anxiety around mealtimes and doesn’t serve you well.
When it comes down to it, you can’t control another person’s bodily functions (even if you want to). Therefore, wave the white flag if you find yourself at war with your child during meals. If your kiddo sees that refusing to eat gets a rise out of you, then he/she will use this tactic to his/her advantage.
Your role at mealtimes is to bring nutritious food to the table. Your job ends there. It’s up to your child to eat.
To learn more about the “division of responsibility” at mealtimes, check out Ellyn Satter’s website. Ellyn Satter is a legend in the world of pediatric nutrition and has written several books on the topic of how to feed kids.
3. Have Realistic Expectations About the Length of Each Meal.
No child likes to sit at the table and eat for too long. Whereas adults like to enjoy long, boozy meals, kids want to eat and move on. For instance, toddlers may be able to hang in there for only 10 minutes at a time. This can make restaurant outings kind of painful. Bring toys and other distractions to these meals to make them more enjoyable for everyone.
4. Don’t Supersize the Portions.
A toddler’s portion size is about 1/4 of an adult serving size.
If you want your child to eat more, serve smaller portions. I know this might sound counterintuitive, but kids get overwhelmed by mounds of food on their plates. If you offer smaller portions, the food won’t be so visually taxing for your little one. If your child wants more, he/she can ask for seconds.
5. Avoid Being a Short-Order Cook.
If you’re desperate for your child to eat more, you may be tempted to make him/her a separate meal OR a new meal if the first one is rejected. This is a fairly common trap that parents fall into, but it can be a slippery slope for 2 reasons:
1. It’s more work for you.
2. It teaches your child that if he/she whines enough, the world will adjust to meet his/her needs.
This doesn’t mean that you should serve only new and exotic foods at mealtimes. Offer at least 1 familiar food that you know your child will like. You can change up the familiar foods, so that your child isn’t eating the same thing every night.
Since kids tend to gravitate towards what they know, you might want to serve the less familiar foods on a “tasting plate” or as an appetizer before serving the old standbys.
6. Don’t Give Up If Your Child Rejects a Food the First Time It’s Served.
Why? Because it can take 10-15 tries for a child to like a new food. Your child may ignore the food at first, then become interested enough to lick it, before taking a tentative bite (while you try not to squeal with delight).
This reluctance to accept new foods goes back to our days as cavepeople when it paid to be cautious about eating random berries off of trees. Our more prudent ancestors were the ones who survived (i.e. who weren’t poisoned by the berries) and were able to procreate and keep our species going.
7. Put Down Your Phone and Turn Off the TV During Mealtimes.
Powering down all devices at mealtimes is a good habit for kids to model and get into. It also leads to more mindful eating and allows them to focus on their 5 senses while chewing.
8. Bring Your Child to the Table Hungry!
You want your picky eater to come to the table hungry, otherwise it’s a losing battle from the start. Picky eaters love to snack and are your classic “grazers.” Snacking isn’t bad in and of itself; just make sure the snacks have some nutritional value and are offered at least 2 hours before meals. In addition, serve meals with water, so that your child doesn’t fill up on milk or juice while eating.
9. Get Your Kiddo to Help Out in the Kitchen (But Make His/Her Task Doable).
Kids love to mimic their parents and feel grown-up. As your toddler gets older, give him/her one small and manageable task in the kitchen (such as putting the lettuce in the bowl for a salad or stirring the sauce). Even if the job takes 30 seconds, it keeps your child involved in the food-making process. The more kids see and respect where their food comes from, the more interested they become in eating it.
10. Make the Meals Look Pretty.
Kids often like the “ritual” of the family meal. So put down some waterproof placemats, “light” a fake candle (or a real one if you’re a risk taker) and buy toddler plates that are visually appealing.
Bonus Tips:
- When offering a “new” food, don’t suddenly stick an oyster in your child’s face. Instead, encourage him/her to try new flavors by modifying his/her favorite dishes. For example, instead of serving steamed cauliflower, cook up some mashed cauliflower with cheese.
- Serve the meal in courses. You can start the meal off with a fruit or veggie appetizer before serving the main course. If you make the first course a fun and popular finger food, your child may be more inclined to eat the foods at the next course.
- Sneak Veggies Into Meals By:
- Mixing the veggies into something else that your child likes (for example, try pasta wheels with broccoli).
- Offering veggies in different forms. Does your child spit out his/her mashed potatoes? Try small pieces of boiled potato, instead.
- Hiding them. Ideally you want to serve veggies in their recognizable form, but if your kiddo consistently refuses to eat them, you may have to get sneaky. For example, you can hide cauliflower or butternut squash in a sauce to make mac and cheese or put spinach in brownies (yup, this is a thing). This concept led to books like “The Sneaky Chef” by Missy Chase Lapine and “Deceptively Delicious” by Jessica Seinfeld.
Are Frozen Veggies Okay? Yup! Vegetables retain most of their nutrients when frozen, so frozen veggies can be a good (and fast) option. Canned veggies work, too, but they’re not ideal.
Why? For two reasons:
1. They usually don’t taste as fresh,
AND
2. They’re often packed with sodium (read: salt).
In addition, the cans are often lined with BPA. To avoid this, look for BPA-free canned food options.
PediaWise Pick: Eden Foods.
The Bottom Line
Most picky eaters end up growing properly despite their erratic eating behaviors. That being said, if you’re concerned about your picky eater’s growth or you’re worried that something more serious than picky eating is going on (such as gastroesophageal reflux), make an appointment with his/her pediatrician.