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Toddler Lessons

Welcome to Month 22 (Week 1) of Parenting Your Toddler!

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

Toddlers, as you probably know by now, are all over the place. They’re often careening from one side of the room to the other and bumping into things. Parents of toddlers are well versed in being hugged too tightly, accidentally elbowed in the face, and stepped on by tiny feet.

When it comes to personal space, toddlers have none and don’t really care about yours either. Although this is developmentally normal, parents often wonder if their child will have poor boundaries with people outside of their family (think: teachers, coaches, and strangers) and will fail to understand when their own boundaries have been crossed.

Although it’s a bit early to talk to your child about “stranger danger” (a term that’s fallen out of favor anyway because strangers aren’t the only ones who can be dangerous), it doesn’t hurt to float the idea of personal space early on.

Get Wise below about how to talk to your toddler about personal space.

Personal Space

If you start lecturing your toddler about “personal space,” they’ll probably have no idea what you’re talking about. The trick is to bring the topic up in a simple and non-threatening way. The best way to do this is to use terms that your child can understand and to read them books about the subject.

Here are 5 Tips to Help You Teach Your Child About Personal Space & Setting Boundaries:

1. Introduce the Concept of the “Body Bubble.”

The body bubble (or the personal space bubble) is a term that’s used to help kids visualize their personal space. Have your child spin around with their arms outstretched and explain that the space within the imaginary circle is their own personal “body bubble.” If your child needs a more concrete visual, you can have them step inside of a hula hoop or stand on a large bathmat.

Once your child gets used to the “body bubble” idea, you can play a game in which they give you a thumbs UP or a thumbs DOWN when you ask to enter their “bubble.”

Reality Check: Body Bubbles can be a difficult concept for toddlers to understand. Don’t worry. The goal is to slowly introduce the language of personal space over time, so that your child eventually gets the hang of it.

2. Remember That Body Bubbles Are Dynamic.

As we all know, body bubbles fluctuate in size based on our moods, our surroundings, and the people with whom we’re interacting.

Sometimes we want to be cozy and other times we need our space. Encourage your child to honor their changing body bubble size by asking if they want a hug rather than assuming so. While asking for permission for affection may feel a bit stilted in the beginning (and definitely doesn’t have to happen all of the time), it’s a helpful habit to get into when you’re teaching your child about personal space.

3. Don’t Force Intimacy.

Although it can be a tad embarrassing when your child hides (or screams) when an out-of-town relative comes to visit, resist the urge to force your little one to hug, kiss, or go towards people they’re skeptical of in the moment.

To make things a little less awkward, you can teach your child different (yet polite) ways to greet someone. In my daughter’s elementary school, they encouraged kids to greet the teachers with an “H, H, or H” — a hug, a handshake (knuckles work, too), or a high-five.

I would throw in two non-touching options as well: simply saying “hi” or waving. By offering your child different ways to greet people, you’re teaching them to honor their inner voice while still being courteous.

4. Talk About Your Own Personal Space.

Work the idea of body bubbles into your daily conversation. For example, invite your toddler into your “body bubble” to snuggle and note when other people enter your body bubble unannounced by saying something like “Whoa! That woman stepped right into my body bubble.”

5. Join the (Book) Club!

Books are a great way for parents to get their point across without lecturing. Although I haven’t found many books about personal space that are specifically geared towards toddlers, there are a few books for kids 4-8 years that can be tailored to fit younger children’s needs. To make these books developmentally appropriate for your toddler, show them the pictures and add your own narrative.

These Books Include:

Sneak Peek:

Older kids may benefit from the following books, as well: 

The Bottom Line

Over time, your child will learn to set boundaries and develop a sense of their personal space. Introduce the language early on but don’t expect your toddler to always respect your personal space or to be aware of their own. These concepts can take a while to understand and internalize.

Celebrities are Just Like Us!

I’d walk through fire for my daughter.
Well not FIRE, because it’s dangerous.
But a super humid room.
But not too humid,
because my hair.”

~Ryan Reynolds

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 21 (Week 4) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

As your child gets older, you may notice that it’s harder to get them to do what you want. Not only do toddlers have strong opinions, but they also love to scream “NO!” at the top of their lungs and can summon Hulk-like strength when needed. Any parent who has tried to wrestle their child into a car seat knows what I’m talking about.

So, What’s a Parent to Do? Cajole? Coax? Bribe? Yell? Curl Up in the Fetal Position?

Get Wise below about the “natural consequences” approach to parenting and the slippery slope of bribery.

Bribery: Short-Term Gain But Long-Term Pain

I don’t think there’s a parent out there who hasn’t bribed their child at one point or another. Bribery is typically done in the heat of the moment to stop whining, begging, and tantrums in their tracks. 

Do Any of These Bribes Sound Familiar?

  • “If you stop crying, I’ll buy you an ice cream cone.”
  • “If you get off the floor, I’ll get you a toy.”
  • “If you stop squirming in your car seat, we’ll stop at McDonald’s.”

The Great Thing About Bribery Is That It Works. The Problem With Bribery Is That It Doesn’t Work For Long. 

Why Not? Because bribing kids sends them the message that they’ll be rewarded for acting up. Moreover, once you bribe your child, you’ll have to keep doing it and up the ante every time they get bored with the prize.

PediaTip: Save the bribery for special (read: desperate) situations or swear off it entirely.

If Bribery Is Out, What’s In?

Instead of bribing your child with random gifts, try “natural consequences” and “incentives.”

What are Those? A natural consequence is the inevitable result of a child’s actions. Natural consequences can be negative (e.g. “I have to take the toy because you hit me with it”) or positive (e.g. “you got dressed quickly, so now we can spend more time at the park”). Positive consequences, in this case, act as incentives for your child to do the right thing.

Here are the Top 3 Tips for Making “Natural Consequences” and “Incentives” Work for You and Your Family:

1. Define Your Expectations, Then Honor Them.

It’s easier (for everyone) if you take the time to define your family rules early on and then stick to them. This allows you to parent “intentionally” (vs. reactively).

To Do This, Try the Following:

Step 1: Sit down with your partner (if you have one) and write down your Top 10 Family Rules.

Step 2: Write out a positive and negative consequence for each rule. For example, if you’re working on your kids’ relationship, you might write:

  • Positive Consequence (i.e. Incentive): Sharing with your sibling means more playtime.
  • Negative Consequence: Whacking your brother means playtime is over.

Step 3: To get everyone on the same page, post these rules on the fridge or in some other location where they’re visible.

PediaTip: Use visual cues for the kiddos in your family who don’t know how to read yet. For example, tape a picture next to each rule and point to it when you need to invoke the consequence.

Insider Info: The hardest part about the natural consequences approach is following through with the rules early on. However, after a week or two of seeing that you mean business, your child will get the hang of it.

2. Try Not to Let Your Mood Dictate Your Reactions (Follow the Rules Instead).

Allowing your mood to govern your responses to your child is a common parenting pitfall and one that I know all too well. It’s human nature to be more easygoing about the rules when things are sunny and bright and stricter about them (maybe even too strict) when you’re stressed, short on time, or in a funk.

Inconsistency is confusing to kids and makes the cause-and-effect system less effective. Do your best to stick with the script and keep your emotions out of it.

3. Offer Choices (Even If One of Them is Kind of Trash).

Kids (and adults) frequently have to do things they don’t want to do. For kids, these ornery tasks may include: getting into their car seat, putting their shoes on to go to the park, or sitting in a highchair to eat. Offering choices (even if one of them is not much of a choice) is a way to sugarcoat the rules, while still practicing natural consequences.

For example, let’s say you plan to take your child to the park, but they refuse to put on their shoes. You can say, “you have a choice: help me put your shoes on or I will do it for you.”

If your child doesn’t respond, then you can start putting their shoes on because a non-answer defaults to whatever you want (yay!).

If your child (smartly) refuse both choices, then employ a natural consequence, “Ok, we’ll wait until you’re ready, but then we may not have time to go to the park.”

PediaTip: Only offer choices that you’re willing to consistently follow through on. For example, you may offer the choice of putting your child’s shoes on in the house or giving your child a piggyback ride to the car and putting them on there. If you have a slipped disc in your back or you don’t really want to carry your child to the car every time this happens, don’t offer this choice.

Common Questions

Does Following the Natural Consequences Way of Parenting Mean My Relationship With My Child Will Be Conflict-Free?

No. Unfortunately, conflict comes with the parenting territory. However, being deliberate and logical with your rules (vs. making stuff up in the heat of the moment) can reduce conflict. You’ll need to adapt the rules as your child gets older and new issues arise. When your child hits the school-age years, they can get involved in creating the family rules. It’s definitely easier to enforce rules that a child has helped design!

Aren’t “Incentives” and Bribes the Same Thing?

Although there’s a fine line between bribes and incentives, the distinction between the two is key.

Bribery rewards negative behavior by throwing treats at it to make it stop, whereas incentives encourage positive behavior in a natural way.

For example, if you tell your child you’ll buy them something at the grocery store if they stop whining, that’s a bribe. 

However, if the family rule is that your child gets 1 item at the grocery store if they don’t whine, then the item becomes an incentive (a positive consequence) for doing the right thing.

Why are You So Into Logical Consequences?

I’ve tried a bunch of parenting techniques, many of which I’ve had to scrap. I keep coming back to natural consequences because they teach kids about the cause-and-effect relationship and mimic real life. For example, in the adult world, the person who exhibits impulse control and good manners is more likely to “get the job” than the person who is volatile and rude.

Book Club: A helpful book on the subject of natural consequences is “Parenting With Love & Logic,” by Dr. Foster Cline and Jim Fay. Check it out if you’re interested!

“Parenting is easy. It’s like riding a bike.
Except the bike is on fire and
you’re on fire and everything is
on fire and you’re in hell.”

~Someecards (by Misanthre)

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 21 (Week 3) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

Believe it or not, an average healthy child coughs between 10-34 times per day.1 This is considered normal.

A cough that’s more frequent than that may be due to an underlying ailment. Most coughs are “acute,” meaning they occur suddenly and are short-lived. The No. 1 cause of acute coughs in toddlers is an “upper respiratory tract infection” (such as the common cold or the flu). Most upper respiratory tract infections are due to viruses and resolve on their own.

Chronic coughs can also be seen in toddlers. A chronic cough is a cough that lasts 4 (or more) weeks. Chronic coughs have a myriad of causes and doctors often have to go into detective mode to figure out what’s causing them.

Get Wise below about what docs want to know about chronic coughs and what causes them.

The Chronic Cough

Chronic coughs affect 5-10% of children in the U.S. overall.2 

Here are the Top 5 Causes of Chronic Coughs in Young Children:

1. “Cough-Variant” Asthma. Children who have a chronic, dry cough may have something called “cough-variant” asthma. Kids with cough-variant asthma (like kids with regular asthma) have inflamed, mucus-filled, and constricted airways. But, unlike kids with regular asthma, kids with cough-variant asthma tend to cough (instead of wheeze). The cough is a sign that their lungs are “tight.” Medications (like the bronchodilator, Albuterol) can improve the cough by opening up the child’s airways.

DocTalk: Doctors often call asthma-like symptoms in kids under 5 “reactive airway disease.”

Why? Because they want to see whether a toddler’s “asthma-like” symptoms are going to stick around before they label them with asthma. Another reason is that the definitive test for asthma (i.e. spirometry) requires kids to be coordinated enough to breathe into a machine on command. This level of coordination isn’t usually achieved until age 5.

2. A Chronic Lung Disease (Other than “Cough-Variant” Asthma) Can Also Cause a Chronic Cough in Young Kids. An example of this is cystic fibrosis (a rare inherited disorder characterized by problems with the lungs, pancreas, and gastrointestinal tract). In this case, the doctor will do their best to minimize the cough by treating the underlying lung pathology.

3. Foreign Body Aspiration. As we discussed in last week’s PediaGuide article, children like to put random things in their mouths. If a child swallows a small object on the sly, it can get lodged in a branch of their lungs and lead to a chronic cough.

4. Postnasal Drip From Allergies. Allergies become more of a thing as children age. They’re especially prevalent in kids with a family history of allergies. Both seasonal and environmental allergies can cause children to cough. This cough may be seasonal or occur only when the allergen is present (for example, around cats).

An “allergic cough” is often accompanied by watery eyes and sneezing. If the pediatrician thinks a child’s chronic cough is due to allergies, they’ll probably recommend treating the allergies with an antihistamine (such as Children’s Claritin) and a nasal steroid spray. If the allergies interfere with the child’s quality of life, the doctor may refer them to an allergist.

5. Reflux. Gastroesophageal reflux (GERD) can lead to a chronic cough, which often gets worse at night when the child is lying on their back. In addition to the cough, the child may exhibit abdominal discomfort after eating, vomiting after meals, poor growth, and a tendency to “graze” throughout the day (vs. eating larger portions at each sitting). The last symptom is a soft sign because most toddlers are “grazers.”

Why Does GERD Cause a Cough Again? Because the gastric juices from the stomach flow backwards into the esophagus, irritating the throat. 

If the doctor suspects that a child has GERD, they may recommend trying an anti-reflux medication to see if it helps. 

In some cases, doctors will skip the medication and go straight to an upper endoscopy. An upper endoscopy is a procedure that’s used to visualize the inside of the esophagus, the stomach, and the first part of the small intestine. Upper endoscopies last only 15-20 minutes, but require sedation.

Three Less Common Causes of a Chronic Cough include:

1. Medications. Certain medications can cause a chronic cough as a side effect. For example, ACE inhibitors (a type of medication used to treat high blood pressure) are notorious for causing a chronic cough.

2. Whooping Cough (Fancy Name: Pertussis). Whooping cough is caused by the bacterium Bordetella pertussis. The cough associated with whooping cough is so persistent that it’s sometimes called the “100-day cough.” The cough can sound pretty dramatic and is characterized by an inspiratory whoop (i.e. a big intake of breath at the beginning of the cough).

The Good News: The pertussis vaccine (the “P” in the DTaP combination vaccine) protects against whooping cough. The DTaP vaccine is typically given at 2, 4, and 6 months of age. Booster doses of the DTaP vaccine are administered at 15 months and 4 years. Because immunity against whooping cough wanes over time, older children receive another Pertussis booster (as part of the combination vaccine Tdap) around 11-12 years of age. 

3. Tuberculosis (TB). Tuberculosis is a rare lung infection caused by the bacterium Mycobacterium tuberculosis. This bacterium is spread through the air when a person coughs.

Insider Info: In the past, all kids were screened for exposure to tuberculosis. This is no longer the case, however. Nowadays doctors only screen kids with certain risk factors for TB. Such risk factors include contact with someone with TB and travel to a foreign country where TB is prevalent.

Get Wise about Tuberculosis here.

Sneak Peek

Older kids may also develop a “habit cough,” which is essentially a tic. Habit coughs are typically seen in kids 4-18 years of age (and peak at 10 years).

A habit cough presents as a chronic, dry, “barking” cough with no clear underlying disease.

Habit Cough Clues:

  • They occur only when kids are awake.
  • They tend to get more pronounced at the doctor’s office (even though they’re not done intentionally).

The Bottom Line: If your child develops a chronic cough (one that lasts 4 weeks or more), let the doctor know so they can identify the cause and treat it.

Here are the Top Questions That Doctors Tend to Ask about Chronic Coughs

  • How long has the cough being going on?
  • Is the cough improving, getting worse, or staying the same?
  • Does anything make the cough better? Does anything make it worse?
  • Is the cough more pronounced at night or during the day? Or is there no difference?
  • Does your child have any additional symptoms (such as a runny nose, a sore throat, or a fever)?
  • Is the cough “productive,” meaning does your child hack up phlegm while coughing?
  • Is your child having trouble breathing?
  • Is your kiddo making any weird noises, such as barking like a seal (think: croup) or wheezing?
  • Do you think your child swallowed a non-food item (like a coin or a small toy)?
  • Has your child come in contact with anyone with similar symptoms?
  • Does your child have any underlying medical conditions? For example, do they have known “reactive airway disease” or “chronic lung disease” from being born prematurely?
  • Is there a family history of asthma, allergies, eczema, reflux, or other disorders that could increase your child’s risk of developing a chronic cough?
  • Is your child taking any medications?
  • Does your child have any allergies?
  • Is your child up-to-date on their vaccines?

The Bottom Line

Most coughs are acute, self-resolving, and caused by a virus. If your child develops a cough that isn’t going away, let the doctor know, so they can investigate further.

And, Now, I Leave You With a Friendly Reminder and a Fun Fact:

Friendly Reminder

Per the American Academy of Pediatrics (the AAP), cough and cold medications get the thumbs down for kids under 6 years. (Note: Some experts say under 4 years, but the AAP prefers under 6 years).3

Why’s That? Because they don’t seem to be all that useful in this age group and they’ve also led to a small number of fatal poisonings in young children (most of which occurred in children under 2 years). Reality Check: Although this is a super rare phenomenon, it’s not worthing messing around with.

And While You’re At It…

  • Watch out for herbal remedies and supplements. They may tout promising healing properties, but they’re not well regulated by the FDA (the Food and Drug Administration).
  • In addition, Vicks VapoRub is not approved for children under 2 years. Why? Because one of the ingredients, camphor oil, can get absorbed through the skin and cause seizures in babies and young toddlers.

Fun Fact

A cough can shoot approximately 3,000 respiratory droplets out of our mouths at 50 miles per hour?4 And a sneeze is even more powerful. Sneezes release 100,000 droplets into the air at 100 miles per hour.5 Now, that’s nothing to sneeze at!

Insider Info: The high-velocity spread of respiratory droplets through coughing and sneezing is the reason behind the original 6-foot social distancing guideline with COVID-19. It’s also the reason we’re told to cough and sneeze into our elbows.

“When you can hear a cough,
in the middle of the night,
through closed doors,
3 bedrooms away…
you’re a mom.”

~Being a Mom on (Sammiches & Psych Meds Website)

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 21 (Week 2) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

As toddlers become more aware of their bodies, they begin to stick things in places they shouldn’t. Kids at this age must to be watched closely because they may suddenly decide to put a pea up their nose or in their ear. They may also deny doing it or say they did it when they didn’t, just to keep their parents on their toes. This can be exhausting, to say the least.

Get Wise about hidden objects in body parts, swallowed foreign bodies, and what to do if your toddler is choking.

The 411 on Foreign Bodies

Kids will put objects in every orifice if given the chance. Yup, that includes their mouths, ears, noses, and vaginas (sorry!). It’s their way of exploring and seeing what happens. 

Let’s first take a look at foreign bodies in the ear and how to manage them:

Foreign Bodies In the Ear 

The ear is a favorite place for young children to stash objects.

Signs of an Ear Infection Caused by a Foreign Body Include: 

  • Pus draining from the ear.
  • Ear pain. 

Management:

  • Foreign bodies in the ear need to be removed.

    Why? Because an infection can develop if an object is left in the ear too long. In addition, certain objects (e.g. such as button batteries) can damage the ear itself.
  • If you think your child may have put something in their ear, call the doctor ASAP.
  • If your child put a button battery in their ear or rammed a penetrating object (such as the tip of a pencil) into their ear, you need to take them to the ER.
  • If the foreign body isn’t shoved too far into the ear and it’s not a button battery or a penetrating object, then the general pediatrician may be able to remove it in the office. If the doctor is unable to do so, your child will be sent to an ENT (an ear, nose, and throat doctor).

The Bottom Line: Call the doctor if you see your child put an object in their ear or if they confess to putting one in there. Foreign bodies in the ear aren’t usually an emergency unless the object is sharp or a button battery, which can leak chemicals into the ear canal.

Foreign Bodies Up the Nose

Kids love to shove things up their nose. With two nostrils ready and waiting, it’s double the fun for them and double the headache for their parents. 

What Do Kids Like to Put up Their Nose?

Cheerios are a popular item to put up the nose, as are beads, marbles, peas, pebbles, raisins, and small Legos.

What Can Happen If an Object is Left in the Nose Too Long?

It can cause an infection.

Signs of a Nose Infection Include:

  • Foul-smelling drainage (usually only from one nostril).
  • Nose pain.
  • Trouble breathing through the blocked nostril.

Management:

  • In most cases, the general pediatrician can extract an object that’s stuck in the nose. If not, an ENT will do the honors.
  • Caveat: If your child sticks a button battery up their nose or puts magnets in each nostril (which is unlikely), they’ll need to go straight to the ER.

    Why?     Because button batteries can leak harmful chemicals, and magnets can attract each other through tissue, causing serious damage.

The Bottom Line: Call the doctor if you think your child stuck something (other than their finger) up their nose.

Foreign Bodies in the Vagina

Believe it or not, little girls will sometimes put random objects in their vagina. The most common foreign bodies found in the vagina are: small toys, paper clips, coins, and hair ties. In addition, pieces of toilet paper can get stuck in the vagina (especially in girls who are potty-training).

The Symptoms:

Objects in the vagina can lead to vaginal discomfort, vaginal discharge, a foul-smelling odor, and intermittent bleeding.

Management: 

A pediatric urologist will often be called upon to extract the item from the vagina. Sedation may be required for young children and those with objects that are hard to remove.

If the object is a button battery (which can disintegrate and leak nasty chemicals), then your daughter needs to go straight to the ER. (You may be noticing a theme, here, with button batteries.)

The Bottom Line:

Although it may sound a bit shocking, it’s not uncommon for young girls to put objects in their vaginas. This is usually done for benign reasons (i.e. as a way of exploring their bodies). If you suspect a more nefarious reason, however (such as sexual abuse), don’t hesitate to let the doctor know. No one likes to talk about this stuff, but it’s important to have it on your radar.

Foreign Bodies Down the Hatch

Kids enjoy exploring the world through ALL of their senses. This includes exploring objects with their mouths. Kids can be super sneaky and pop things into their mouths when their parents’ backs are turned. 

PediaTrivia:

  • The rate of foreign body ingestions in kids has doubled over the past 20 years.1
  • Most foreign body ingestions occur in kids who are 6 months to 3 years old. Children who swallow non-food items at older ages tend to have developmental delays or behavioral problems.
  • Coins are the No. 1 type of foreign body swallowed by kids.2

Management:

  • Most swallowed non-food items are small enough to make their way through the gastrointestinal tract into the poop.
  • If your child swallowed a “non-worrisome” object that can be easily excreted, the doctor will put you on “poop watch.”
  • However, if your child swallowed a more concerning object (such as a button battery or an object that’s big enough to get stuck in the GI tract), they’ll need to go to the ER immediately to have a specialist remove it under sedation. If your child is choking, drooling, or having trouble breathing, call 911.

Here are Some Examples of Items That Are Particularly Problematic to Swallow:

  • Quarters or Anything Bigger.

    Note: Although pennies, dimes, and nickels usually end up in the poop, they’re worth a call to the doctor, as well.

    Insider Info: Neck, chest, and abdominal X-rays can tell doctors where a quarter (or another type of coin) is lodged in the body.
  • Sharp Objects (Such as Toothpicks and Straight Pins).
  • Magnets. If two or more magnets are swallowed, they can stick together in the GI tract and cause an intestinal perforation (i.e. a hole in the intestine).
  • Button Batteries. Button batteries can disintegrate and release nasty chemicals.

The Bottom Line: Most swallowed non-food objects don’t cause problems and are pooped out. That being said, if your child swallows one of the worrisome objects described above, it needs to be removed ASAP.

Choking & What to Do About It

When kids swallow a foreign body, they don’t always choke on it. As mentioned above, some foreign bodies make it down the throat without a problem and are either excreted or get stuck lower down in the GI tract.

In the (unlikely) event that your child does start choking, here’s what you can do about it:

Step 1. Determine Your Child’s Level of Distress.

If your child is alert and is making noises (i.e. they’re coughing, gagging, or crying) that means they’re trying to clear their airway. In this case, just observe your kiddo to make sure they cough the object up.

PediaTrivia: The old technique of slapping someone on the back when they’re choking isn’t actually all that helpful. If your toddler is coughing or gagging, let them continue to do so as they try to get the object out.

Step 2. If Your Child is in Distress and is NOT Making Any Noise, Doesn’t Seem to Be Breathing, or is Turning Blue, Then They’re Having Trouble Clearing Their Airway. In This Case, You Need to Act.

  • Have someone call 911. If you’re alone, dial 911 and put the operator on speakerphone while you tend to your child.
  • Then, look in your child’s mouth. If you see the object, you can try to take it out. If not, avoid fishing around for it. Just move on to the next step.

Step 3. If You Don’t See the Object in Their Mouth, Do the Heimlich Maneuver.

  • The PALS (Pediatric Advanced Life Support) experts recommend that parents do the Heimlich maneuver in kids 1 year and older.

    Get Wise about how to do the Heimlich maneuver here.

    FYI: If you Google “choking algorithms in kids over 1” you’ll see that some algorithms recommend the (somewhat controversial practice) of doing “back blows” before doing the Heimlich maneuver. Specifically, these algorithms recommend doing a cycle of 5 back blows followed by 5 Heimlich maneuver abdominal thrusts until the object is forced out of the airway or until the child faints (whichever comes first). The American Red Cross’ choking algorithm, for example, includes back blows, whereas the American Heart Association’s algorithm does not. Because the Pediatric Advanced Life Support (PALS) algorithm follows the American Heart Association’s algorithm, back blows weren’t included in the steps described here.

    Ugh, Why on are You Telling Me All of This? Just in case you see conflicting info on the web.

Step 4: Repeat the Heimlich Maneuver Until the Object Comes Out OR Until Your Child Faints (Whichever Comes First).

Step 5: If Your Child Loses Consciousness (At Any Point), Start CPR (Make Sure That 911 Has Been Called, First). 

If you don’t know child CPR, the 911 operator will guide you through it while the ambulance is en route.

If you’re interested in learning more about child CPR, Get Wise about the steps here or take a CPR class.

The Bottom Line

Have a low threshold for calling 911 if your child is choking. False alarms are better than the alternative. Likewise, don’t be shy about calling the doctor (or taking your child to the ER) if they have a foreign body stuck in another body part (such as in the nose, the ear, or the vagina).

“Hell hath no fury like a toddler
whose sandwich has been cut into
squares when they wanted triangles.”

~Netmums

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 21 (Week 1) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

If you were a neat freak in your past life (i.e. in your life before kids), you may be wondering what in the world has happened to your house. Unless you’re one of the few parents who has managed to keep the toy craze at bay, you may be constantly stepping on toys or finding them under the sofa or in your bed.

Toys can be a double-edged sword. Although they entertain kids and are great for their development, they often seem to breed and multiply in our homes and some of them can be hazardous to our kids’ health. Revisit the topic of Toy Safety below and Get Wise about How to Prevent Toy Overload.

Toy Safety

There are a million and one children’s toys on the market. The best toys are educational, teach kids about “cause and effect” (for example, if you push a button, music will play), and spur creativity. However, certain toys can be a safety risk, so be mindful of which ones you bring into your home.

Here Are the Top 5 Tips on Toy Safety:

1. Watch Out for Choking Hazards. Toddlers, like infants, love to covertly put non-food items in their mouths. Size is, therefore, the No. 1 thing to pay attention to when buying a toy. Toys or parts of toys that are small enough to fit inside the cardboard tube of a toilet paper roll are not your child’s friend.

PediaTip: Keep an extra close eye on button batteries (which are used to power certain toys). Why? Because they’re corrosive when ingested (or when put in the ear or up the nose).

2. Beware of the Packaging. Many toys come wrapped in plastic bags, which can pose a suffocation hazard to children. Therefore, it’s best to throw plastic bags away (or recycle them if an option) when you take the toys out of the box.

3. Be Careful With Hand-Me-Downs. Many old-school toys bring back fond memories for us and are a novelty for our kids. However, what was considered safe 20 years ago may be recalled in a heartbeat today. Be judicious about the hand-me-downs you accept or put the kibosh on them altogether.

4. Get Wise About Recalls. Fill out the product registration card that comes with the toy (if an option) or buy toys from sites like Amazon (which will email you if the toy has been recalled). In addition, sign up for the Consumer Product Safety Commission alerts. I’ll also periodically send out alerts about recalls.

5. Opt for Battery-Operated Toys (vs. Electric Toys).

Why? Because, in rare cases, electric toys have short-circuited and caused burns and shocks.

Bonus Toy Safety Tip:

Avoid Toys With Magnets. 

Magnets that are accidentally ingested can wreak havoc on the GI tract. This is especially true if 2 magnets are swallowed. Why? Because they’re still attracted to each other, even when inside the gastrointestinal tract. Because of this, there’s a risk that a piece of the intestines will get trapped between them, which is no bueno.

The Bottom Line: Buy age-appropriate toys for your child, pay attention to the warning labels on the toys, and be careful about using hand-me-downs.

The Top 5 Tips for Avoiding Toy Overload

Homes With Kids Tend to Be Overrun With Toys. To Tame the Toy Madness, Try the Following:

1. Rotate the Toys: If your child has more toys than they know what to do with, try rotating them. For example, separate the toys into 4 bins and rotate the bins each month.

This allows kids to feel like they’re playing with “new” toys every month while reminding them of the toys they already have. This works well with books, too.

2. Try the “One In, One Out” Rule: Every time a new toy comes into your home, consider donating an old one. This is easier said than done, but something to aspire to. You can try this with clothes, too.

Not Ready to Donate? Put the excess toys or clothes in boxes and store them away. If you don’t use them for the next 6 months, donate them.

PediaTip: Although I’m big on transparency, it’s usually better not to let your child see you throw their toys away (think: tears and tantrums). Donating toys is a different story, though, because it teaches generosity (although your child might not see it that way at first or might not understand the concept until they’re a bit older).

3. Remember the Saying “A Place For Everything and Everything In Its Place”: It helps to separate the toys into different bins by category. Once every toy has a “home,” you can teach your child to put things back where they found them. This makes cleanup (and finding the toys in the first place) easier.

4. Go Beyond “Spring” Cleaning: Periodically weed through your child’s toys to get rid of the ones they’ve outgrown. Doing this once a season is easier and less overwhelming than doing one big purge per year.

5. Make Peace with “Some” Mess: It’s nearly impossible to have a Pinterest-perfect home when you have kids. Kids tend to have a lot of crap. To have an austere, perfectly organized home, you would have to be on your child’s case constantly, which would create a stressful vibe. Ask yourself whether (or not) this is worth the anxiety.

Bonus Tips

  • Pay Attention to Your Buying Habits: It can be hard to say no to the latest and greatest toys, especially with Amazon Prime’s one-click “Buy Now” option staring you in the face. When browsing the web in the wee hours of the morning, a giant unicorn, a miniature football helmet, or a child-sized Adirondack chair may seem like must-have items.

    To cut down on your impulse buys, store the desired products in your virtual cart for a day or two. If the adorable toy hedgehog is still calling your name after a couple of days, then go for it. If not, let it go. Don’t worry, something else will surely pop up in its place.
  • Go Easy on the Grandparents: Relatives and friends will want to shower your child with gifts. Grandparents, especially, love to get in on the present-giving action. Either set boundaries around gift-giving or let gramps and gran have their fun and indulge. There are bigger and more important fish to fry.

The Bottom Line

Try the tips above to make your child’s toys safer and to prevent them from taking over your home.

“Dear kids, sorry I yelled.
In my defense, you were acting
like a bunch of psychos.”

~@reneecharytan.com

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 20 (Week 4) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

As mentioned in previous PediaGuide articles, toddlers tend to “play” side by side rather than directly with one another. That’s not to say, however, that your child won’t grab a toy from another child—or even bite or hit another kid. While it’s tough to be the parent of the “victim,” it’s also stressful to be the parent of the “aggressor.”

Get Wise below about what to do if your child acts aggressively towards another child.

When the Aggressor Is Your Own Flesh & Blood

Toddlers tend to act on impulse, and some have more trouble with impulse control than others. Below are 5 Ways to Improve Your Toddler’s Emotional Regulation Skills:

1. Let Go of Labels and Dig Deeper.

When your kiddo hits or bites another child, it doesn’t mean they’re a “problem child.” If it’s a one-off, just say “no biting, that hurts” or “no hitting, that hurts” and move on. If there’s a pattern of aggressive behavior, however, try to figure out what’s causing the underlying frustration.

For Example:

  • Does your child have a speech delay? If so, they may be struggling to express their wants and needs verbally.
  • Do they have an older sibling who is modeling rough-and-tumble behavior?
  • Is your child sleep-deprived?
  • Is your little one getting sick?

Be a detective and seek out the root of the problem (instead of chalking it up to personality).

2. Teach Impulse Control.

You may have heard of the famous “marshmallow test,” which challenged kids to resist the temptation to eat a marshmallow when they were left alone in a room. If they waited, they got a second marshmallow. If not, they only got the first marshmallow.

This study showed that the kids who didn’t eat the marshmallow (i.e. the ones who exhibited better impulse control and delayed gratification) were more successful as adults. Even though subsequent studies suggest that other factors (such as socioeconomic factors) played a role in who ate the marshmallow, impulse control is clearly an important skill to have.

Are you convinced your child would immediately shove an entire bag of marshmallows into their mouth if given the chance? If so, don’t worry. Kids can learn impulse control over time.

To teach your toddler impulse control, start by modeling it yourself. For example, show your child how to pause before reacting. Do this by waiting a beat before fulfilling their request or by taking a breath before responding to an emotional outburst.

Over time, your child will learn to resist their initial impulses (to hit, yell, scream, and bite) and will find ways to resolve conflicts more peacefully. For example, instead of whacking a child for taking their toy, your child will learn to simply ask for the toy back. Reality Check: This can take a little while to get the hang of and may require a bit (or a LOT) of patience on your part.

Sneak Peek: A popular tool for teaching school-aged kids about impulse control and how to name their emotions is “The Zones of Regulation.” Check out this concept here.

Media Fun: If you haven’t heard of the marshmallow test or you just need a good laugh, check out this video.

3. Set Up Supervised Play Dates.

Practice (sort of) makes perfect when it comes to learning to play with others. Therefore, consider having a (nonjudgmental) friend and their child come over for a play date. Keep the play date short, sweet, and supervised to make it a success.

In addition to play dates, try role-playing different situations. Role-playing gives your child a “script” to fall back on when they’re in new or stressful situations.

4. Avoid Rewarding the “Bad” Behavior With Big Energy.

Keep your reaction to a minimum when your child does something naughty to another child. Instead of making a scene, quietly apologize on your child’s behalf and remove your child from the situation.

PediaTip: Resist the urge to “force” your child to apologize. Why? Because it will just teach your kiddo to “fake apologize” when they make a mistake.

5. Don’t Sweat It Too Much.

As kids get older, they naturally find healthier ways to express their frustrations (e.g. through words vs. hitting). While it never hurts to steer our kids in the right direction, they often work out the kinks on their own as they mature.

The Bottom Line

If impulse control continues to be a major issue for your child and they get stuck in a rut of destructive or aggressive behavior, let the pediatrician know. In this case, the doctor may recommend occupational therapy for your child. Why’s That? Because most occupational therapists are trained in the art of impulse control and teach kids concrete tools help them get a better handle on their emotions.

“There is no such thing as a perfect parent.
So just be a real one.”

~Sue Atkins

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut Into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Note
This page may contain affiliate links, and I may earn a small commission when you click on them (at no additional cost to you). As an Amazon affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases. These products were researched and selected with care. However, because things change, make sure to check the safety profiles (and be on the lookout for any recalls) before using them.

Welcome to Month 14 (Week 4) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

Your 15-month-old is becoming increasingly mobile and may be running you ragged as they explore the world. Here’s what the average 15-month-old is up to:

1. Gross Motor Skills:

  • Squats to pick up objects.
  • Climbs onto furniture (freaking everyone out).
  • Runs.
  • Crawls up a few steps.

Insider Info: As mentioned before, there’s some variation when it comes to kids and walking. Doctors usually take notice if there are no independent steps by 15 months, but they don’t usually get too worked up about it until a child turns 18-months-old. If a child isn’t walking by 18 months, further investigation is needed, and a physical therapy referral will be made (and possibly a referral to a developmental & behavioral pediatrician).

Note: Some pediatricians pull the trigger earlier and intervene at 15 months of age.

2. Fine Motor Skills:

  • Makes marks with a crayon using a “crude” grip (in which they hold the crayon in their fist).
  • Drops objects into a container, then takes them out again.

3. Expressive Language:

  • Says 3 words (other than Mama and/or Dada).
  • Is fluent in gibberish (i.e. has their own indecipherable language).

PediaTip: Talk to your child as if they understand everything you’re saying. This gives them the chance to imitate the rhythm of your voice.

4. Receptive Language:

  • Follows one-step commands without gestures. For example, if you say, “Give me the ball, please,” your child will hand you the ball (if they feel like it).

5. Social Skills:

  • Points to ask for something or to get help.
  • Waves “hi” and “bye.”

Common Question: Do You Have Any Tips On How to Buy Developmentally Appropriate Toys for My Toddler?

Yes! The rest of this PediaGuide is dedicated to just that. Get Wise about The Top 20 Types of Toddler Toys in the Hot Topics section below.

The Top 20 Toddler (and Parent) Approved Types of Toys

The ideal toddler toy is safe, fun, and educational. Below, you’ll find 20 different types of toys that fit this bill. See which ones resonate with you and your child. I’ve included PediaWise Picks to help you navigate the many choices on the market.

Disclaimer & PediaTip: I always strive to include only safe & age-appropriate toys. That being said, make sure that you note the age range for the toy that you’re buying and read the reviews and safety profiles associated with it.

1. Blocks

Toddlers can improve their fine motor skills by stacking blocks on top of one another. Based on the developmental milestone checklist, pediatricians expect children to be able to stack:

  • 2 blocks by 15-21 months.
  • 4 blocks by 17-24 months.
  • 6 blocks by 18-30 months.
  • 8 blocks by 24-36 months.
  • At least 9 blocks after 3 years

*Note the overlapping ages.

Insider Info: The blocks don’t have to be stacked perfectly to achieve each milestone; they just need to be stacked without falling over every time.

There are Many Stacking-Block Options On the Market. PediaWise Picks Include:

2. Musical Instruments

Toddlers like to create sound (aka noise) by banging on surfaces and shaking objects. Because of this, percussion instruments (such as bells, maracas, shakable eggs, xylophones, tambourines, and miniature drums) tend to be a big hit with this age group.

PediaTip: If you’re interested in purchasing an assortment of instruments, it’s probably cheapest (and easiest) to get them as a set. Just get your earplugs out!

PediaWise Picks:

3. Sorting Boxes and Boards 

Sorting boxes and boards help with the recognition of shapes and colors while enhancing a child’s fine motor skills.

PediaWise Picks:

4. Bead Mazes

Bead mazes help children develop their fine motor skills. Kids also feel a sense of accomplishment when they learn to successfully move the wooden bead or block from Point A to Point B.

PediaWise Picks:

5. Water Tables

Kids love to play with water. Hence, the invention of water tables. When playing with a water table, toddlers enjoy scooping water into cups (and dumping it out), having boat races, and playing imaginary games (think: creating pretend fish and mermaid families).

PediaWise Picks:

Insider Info: Sand tables (which are filled with sand rather than water) are also popular with toddlers. They make more of a mess than the water tables, though, and aren’t great for kids who like to put sand in their mouth. The Step2 Cascading Cove Sand & Water Table with Umbrella is an example of a sand and water table combo.

Safety Tip: Make sure to observe your child around a water table. Why? Because babies and toddlers can drown in less than 2 inches of water.1 This is why buckets, water tables, toilets, and even dog bowls are considered drowning hazards for babies and young children.  This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get a water table, it just means that you should observe your child while they’re playing with one, and drain it when playtime is over.

6. Interactive Books 

When a child presses a word or a picture in an interactive book, the book will tell them what that word or picture is. For example, if your toddler touches a picture of a “cow,” the book will say “cow.” Interactive books are fun for toddlers and teach them about animals, food, letters, numbers, and more.

PediaWise Picks:

7. Puzzles

Although your kiddo isn’t ready for a 1,000-piece puzzle just yet, they may enjoy the simple puzzles below:

8. Felt Activity Books

Felt activity books have interactive pieces attached to them and are great for developing fine motor skills. They may even keep your child occupied for a few precious minutes.

PediaWise Picks:

Safety Tip: Make sure to supervise your child while they’re using a felt activity book. 

Why? Just in case a part comes loose, and your kiddo decides to put it in their mouth.

9. Bath Toys

The Classic Rubber Ducky is No Longer the Only Game in Town. Toddlers Enjoy These Other Options as Well:

  • Boats and submarines.
  • Stacking cups (to pour water from one cup into another).
  • Fishing nets to scoop up toy fish.
  • Washable bathtub finger paint. PediaWise Pick: Crayola Bathtub Fingerpaint.

PediaTip: Consider getting a bath toy organizer for easy storage.

PediaWise Picks include the KidCo Bath Toy Organizer Storage Basket and the Ubbi Freestanding Bath Toy Organizer Bath Caddy.

10. Cause-and-Effect Toys

Toddlers love to “get a reaction” (and not just from their parents). Cause-and-effect toys are therefore popular with this age group.

Examples Include:

11. Balls (of Different Sizes)

Toddlers love to kick, roll, and throw balls. Balls with different textures are great sensory toys, as well.

PediaWise Picks:

If You Want to Up the Ante, Consider Purchasing a Ball Pit for Your Home.

PediaWise Pick: Playz 3-Piece Rocket Ship Astronaut Kids Play Tent, Tunnel & Ball Pit.

12. Play-Doh

Play-Doh is a classic childhood play material. Kids love to knead it and create “masterpieces” out of it. They also love to put it in their mouths. Fortunately, Play-Doh isn’t toxic to humans if ingested.

Insider Info: Play-Doh can be toxic to dogs, however, when eaten. Why? Because of the high salt content.

Although Play-Doh is non-toxic to humans, it does contain wheat. Kids with a wheat allergy may, therefore, have an allergic reaction to it (even if they just touch it). For an “Allergy-Free ‘Play Dough’ Recipe” go here.

A fun Play-Doh starter pack is the Play-Doh Modeling Compound 24-Pack Case of Colors (for kids 2+ years).

PediaTip: You may also want to invest in Play-Doh tools when your child gets to be about 3 years of age. Your child can use these tools to cut the Play-Doh and make shapes out of it. 

PediaWise Pick: The Play-Doh Fun Tub.

13. Art Supplies

When it Comes to Art, Toddlers Particularly Enjoy:

14. Toy Telephones

Kids love to mimic their parents, so it’s fun for them to have their own toy phones. 

PediaWise Picks:

15. Dolls & Stuffed Animals

Dolls and stuffed animals remain toddler favorites.

Safety Tip: Avoid dolls and stuffed animals with eyes and noses that can be chewed off and swallowed — stranger things have happened!

PediaWise Picks: 

16. Dress-Up Corners

Dressing up promotes imaginative play. There are a ton of cute dress-up clothes on the market for boys and girls. Pick a theme and go for it!

PediaTip: If you decide to buy multiple outfits, consider investing in a garment rack or a clothes organizer as well. 

PediaWise Picks for Clothes Organizers:

Note: The first two dress-up corners include a mirror, which is always a plus!

17. Push-Pull Toys

Kids love to be in charge and do “grown-up” things. While toddlers aren’t big enough to push a real grocery cart or lawnmower, the toy versions are the next best thing.

PediaWise Picks:

18. Toy Kitchens

Toy kitchens are a great way to get kids’ imaginations going. They’re typically geared towards kids 3 years and above.

Play kitchens can often be used for a number of years, so it’s worth investing in one that is durable and high quality.

PediaWise Picks:

Safety Tip: Toy cash registers are also popular toys for kids 3 &up. If you buy your child a pretend cash register to accompany a play kitchen or a “grocery store,” make sure to supervise them so they don’t try to swallow the fake coins. Or, better yet, hide the coins and stick with the fake paper money and credit cards until your child is older.

PediaWise Pick: The Learning Resources Pretend & Play Calculator Cash Register (for kids 3+).

19. Toy Cleaning Tools: Vacuums, Mops, and Brooms

Many young children enjoy “cleaning.” Their enthusiasm tends to wane, however, as they get older. Take advantage of your child’s early interest in sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming by investing in toy cleaning sets and tools.

PediaWise Picks:

20. Ride-On Toys

Ride-on toys such as toy cars, wagons, rocking horses, tricycles, and balance bikes are great for improving kids’ balance and coordination. They also give kids a small but exhilarating taste of freedom! 

Get Wise(r) About the Appropriate Ride-On Toys for Each Age Group.

The Bottom Line

Searching for toys for toddlers, either online or in a store, can be overwhelming. There are just too many options to choose from! Use the suggestions above as a guide and let us know about any other fun, safe, and educational toys that you find.

Happy Shopping!

Celebrities are Just Like Us!

“No matter how old you are,
if a little kid hands
you a toy phone…
you answer it.”

~Dave Chapelle

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Schedule Your Child’s 15-Month Checkup (If You Haven’t Already).
  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut Into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 20 (Week 3) of Parenting Your Toddler!

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

Separation anxiety (being worried about separating from a caregiver) and stranger anxiety (stress around strangers) are natural phenomena in childhood. Both surface around 9 months of age. Some kids (like some adults) are total extroverts and fly through the separation & stranger anxiety phases without a blip. On the flip side, children who are more introverted or sensitive may take their “anxiety” to the next level. These are the kids who hide behind their parent’s legs when new people come around or seem overwhelmed by too much external stimulation.

At this point, your child’s innate disposition may be emerging, but their personality is by no means set in stone. Our society tends to applaud the extrovert and worry about the introvert. But introversion and extroversion are normal sides of the same coin, and both have their individual merits and challenges.

Therefore, give your child the space to let their true nature shine through and resist the urge to edit traits that you might not be as thrilled about (such as thinking your child is “too shy” or “too energetic”).

This week’s PediaGuide article focuses on ways to help toddlers manage anxiety. Get Wise about this topic below. Before we delve into the topic of anxiety, though, let’s briefly review the toddler diet.

Diet:

You Know the Drill: Offer your child cut-up table foods, whole milk (or a cow’s milk alternative), and a daily vitamin D supplement (of 600 international units per day). Do your best to limit your child’s juice intake to 4 ounces a day (or skip the juice entirely).

Sneak Peek: When your child turns 2, the pediatrician will probably advise you to switch them to 2% milk (the 1% and skim milk versions are ok, too). Continue the full-fat milk, though, until 24 months (unless your child’s doctor says otherwise). Why? Because your kiddo needs the fat for brain development.

Wait, Doesn’t My Child’s Brain Develop AFTER 2 Years? Yup, but not as intensely as it does during the first 2 years of life.

Toddler Fears & Anxieties

As babies grow into toddlers, their fears and anxieties tend to grow, as well. 

Why? Because they become more aware of the potential dangers in their environment. In addition, their imaginations continue to blossom, so the idea of a monster hiding under their bed doesn’t seem all that farfetched to them.

Below Are the Top 5 Tips to Help Your Toddler Manage Their Anxiety:

1. Give Your Child a Heads-Up When You Can. For example, if you go to a house with a dog and Fido is a stressor for your child, let your little one know about the dog beforehand.

2. Empower Your Kiddo. Give your child a magic word (like “shoo”) to get rid of the monsters under the bed.

3. Practice Desensitization. Psychiatrists who treat people with phobias use “desensitization techniques” to help them manage their fears.

How Do I Practice Desensitization With My Child? Slowly introduce your child to the stressor so their anxiety diminishes over time.

For example, if your child is afraid of dogs, start by walking on the opposite side of the street from a dog. When your child gets comfortable with this, they can graduate to walking past a dog on the same side of the street. The next step would be to visit a friend with a small dog, followed by a visit to a friend with a big dog. Then, as the final step, get a dog yourself (just kidding, sort of!).

4. Role-Play: Role-playing is a great way to get your point across without lecturing your child. Through role-playing, kids can work on solving their problems in a low-stress environment.

What Would That Look Like? For instance, if we continue with the dog-phobia theme, you can practice the following during role playing. Pretend you’re a dog (the sillier, the better) and crawl past your toddler. Then let them practice different ways to interact with you (aka the dog).

Sore Back Alert: I’ll bet you $100 that your child tries to ride on your back at some point during this game.

5. Model Mindfulness. Although your child is unlikely to get into the lotus position and chant “om” anytime soon, they’re always watching you for inspiration. It helps, therefore, to introduce them to tools that you might use when you’re stressed or scared. For example, model taking deep breaths, turning on peaceful music, and asking for a hug when you’re anxious.

On That Note …

The Bottom Line

Fears and worries are a normal part of childhood. Some kids are naturally more anxious than others because of the way they’re wired. If you feel like your child’s anxiety is worsening or that it’s preventing them from enjoying their daily life, let the doctor know and consider digging a bit deeper (possibly with the help of a child psychiatrist or psychologist) to find the root cause. 

“Before I got married, I had six theories
about bringing up children
and now I have six children
and no theories.”

~John Wilmot (Earl of Rochester)

Bonus Info

Want more info about introverted kids? Check out the book “Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids,” by Susan Cain. She’s also the author of the bestseller “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.”

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 20 (Week 2) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

As your child continues to grow, you may be wondering how tall they’ll be when all is said and done. Will you have a towering NBA player on your hands, a diminutive Olympic gymnast, or a kiddo who falls somewhere in between?

The first step is to note your own height (and your partner’s height) because genetics will play an important role in deciding your child’s final height.

Shocker: Tall parents typically produce tall children and short parents tend to produce short children. (Obviously, there are exceptions to this rule.)

The second step is to recall when you (and your partner) went through puberty. You may have repressed all memory of this awkward time, but this information will help you predict when your child will go through puberty and have their big growth spurts.

The third step is use to one of 3 methods to “guesstimate” your child’s final height. (Note: These methods aren’t perfect, but they’re better than nothing!) Get Wise about them in the Hot Topics section below.

How Tall Will My Child Be?

Here are the 3 Ways to Predict Your Child’s Adult Height:

Method #1 – Double It: Kids are usually about HALF of their adult height at 2 years of age. You can therefore predict your child’s eventual height by doubling their height at 24 months.

Method #2 – Note Your Child’s Height Percentile and Extrapolate: If your child is consistently measuring at the 75th percentile for height after “finding their curve,” they’ll probably be close to this percentile as an adult.

If you look at the averages for adult height in the U.S., this means that a child who’s regularly at the 75th-percentile for height will be about 5’11” (if male) and 5’5” (if female).

Method #3 – Calculate Your Child’s “Midparental Height:” This method involves plugging Mom and Dad’s height (in inches) into the following equations.

Note: These predicted heights have a margin of error of about 2 inches on either side.

Not a Fan of Math? No problem. Use the midparental height calculator here.  

PediaTrivia

  • The average adult male in the U.S. is 5’9.”1
  • The average adult female in the U.S. is about 5’4.”2

A Word About Short Stature

Kids are short for different reasons. “Short stature” is a term that’s used for children whose height is either:

  • Below the 3rd percentile on the growth chart,

    OR
  • 2 standard deviations below the average height for their age and gender.

The 3 Most Common Causes of Short Stature Are:

1. Familial Short Stature: This is when a child is short because their parents are short. As mentioned above, there’s a genetic component to height, so if one parent is 5’4” and the other is 5’6”, their child probably isn’t going to be LeBron James’s height (which is almost 6’9”).

2. A Constitutional Growth Delay: Kids with a constitutional growth delay are considered “late bloomers.” They hit puberty later than their peers but eventually catch up to them in terms of height. This type of growth delay runs in families and is the reason doctors ask parents when they went through puberty.

3. Medical Issues: Certain medical conditions can cause slowed growth and short stature. Examples include hypothyroidism (low thyroid hormone levels), a growth hormone deficiency, and a genetic disorder in girls called Turner Syndrome.

What Will the Doctor Do if My Child is Short?

They’ll:

  • Ask About Your Family History. The Doctor Will Specifically Want to Know the Following:
    • Your height and your partner’s height.
    • When you and your partner went through puberty.
    • Medical conditions that run in the family that could be causing the short stature.

The Doc Will Also:

  • Perform a Thorough Physical Exam to Determine If There are Signs of an Underlying Illness. For example, dry, brittle hair is a classic finding of hypothyroidism.
  • Do Blood Work to Look at Your Child’s Growth Factor Levels, Thyroid Levels, Etc. The doctor may also do genetic testing if a genetic disorder is suspected.
  • Get X-Rays. There’s a special X-ray of the wrist that’s used to assess kids’ “bone age.” A child’s bone age helps determine if they have a constitutional growth delay or familial short stature.

    How So?
    • If the bone age lags behind the chronological age, then the child has a constitutional growth delay and is a “late bloomer.”
      Example: Bone age = 4 years. Chronological age = 5 years.
    • If the bone age and the chronological age are equal, then the child is more likely to have familial short stature (the child is short because the parents are short).
      Example: Bone age = 4 years. Chronological age = 4 years.

Insider Info:

Children with short stature may be candidates for growth hormone shots.

Growth hormone shots are administered by an endocrinologist and can help boost a child’s final height by 1-3 inches. They’re not entirely risk-free, though.

What are the Drawbacks of Growth Hormone Shots? They’re expensive, have various side effects, and are a literal pain to get. That being said, if the pediatrician thinks your child could benefit from growth hormone injections they’ll refer them to an endocrinologist for further evaluation.

A Word About Gigantism

“Gigantism” is the fancy name for the excessive vertical growth that causes a person to become a “giant.” Gigantism occurs when a child has too much growth hormone circulating in their body before their growth plates close.

Insider Info: Gigantism is almost always caused by a benign tumor of the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland is the part of the brain that releases growth hormone. In the case of gigantism, the tumor leads to the release of too much growth hormone.

Double Take: Acromegaly is another disease that’s caused by too much growth hormone. Although acromegaly and gigantism are similar in some ways, acromegaly occurs when extra growth hormone is floating around in the body after the growth plates have closed. Like gigantism, acromegaly is usually due to a benign tumor of the pituitary gland. Acromegaly makes people fairly tall and gives them coarse features and big body parts. For example, a person with acromegaly may find that their hats no longer fit because their head is rapidly increasing in size.

PediaTrivia: Andre the Giant (think: the WWE wrestler and the “giant” in the movie The Princess Bride) had acromegaly. Sadly, acromegaly can make one’s heart too big, which is how he died.3

Management: If your child is measuring super tall on the growth chart and gigantism is suspected, the pediatrician will refer them to an endocrinologist for further evaluation.

A Parting PediaTip & The Bottom Line

Try not to compare your child’s height to that of other kids.

Why? Because kids grow at different rates and have growth spurts at different times. For example, a child with short parents may be “tall” in 1st grade, then peter out in middle school. A late bloomer, on the other hand, may be “short” in 8th grade, but “tall” by their senior year. If you have any concerns about your child’s height, call the pediatrician and ask them to go over your child’s growth chart with you.

“Folding laundry with a toddler is like trying
to straighten a desk full of papers
while a fan blows on it.”

~Someecards

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 19 (Week 4) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

Whether it’s the monster in the closet, the giant clown hiding under the bed, or the Wicked Witch of the West brandishing her broomstick, we’ve all had nightmares. For kids, nightmares typically begin around 2 years of age and peak between 3-6 years. In addition to nightmares, there are night terrors, which tend to appear around the 4-year mark, although they’ve been reported in kids as young as 18 months. Although night terrors sound and look terrifying, they’re not as common as nightmares, and kids don’t remember them. Parents, on the other hand, are left white-knuckling it the rest of the night.

Get Wise(r) About Nightmares and Night Terrors in the Hot Topics Below…

Nightmares vs. Night Terrors: What’s the Difference?

Nightmares are bad dreams that occur in the second half of the night during REM sleep (the dream portion of sleep). Kids are frightened by these dreams and can recall many of the terrifying details. With some coaxing, they (usually) go back to sleep.

Night terrors, on the other hand, aren’t dreams per se, but represent a “fear response” that’s evoked in some kids when they transition from deep sleep to a lighter stage of sleep. Night terrors take place during the first third of the night, roughly 2-3 hours into sleep.

Night terrors can be jarring for the toughest of parents because kids appear agitated and often scream bloody murder during them. During a night terror, the child may have a blank expression on their face and not even recognize their parents. Fortunately, kids go back to sleep pretty easily after a night terror and wake up having no memory of the episode.

PediaTrivia:

Night terrors tend to run in families. In fact, 80% of kids with night terrors have a family member who either had night terrors or were prone to sleepwalking.1 Sleepwalking (like night terrors) occurs during non-REM sleep. Because of this, sleepwalkers don’t usually remember their sleepwalking episodes, either. 

Managing Nightmares

Nightmares are Usually Nothing to Worry About and Lessen Over Time. Here are Some Tips to Manage Nightmares:

  • Listen and Empathize: Allow your child to talk about their nightmare (when they’re verbal enough to do so). Reassure them that the dream “wasn’t real,” but avoid belaboring this fact. Even though the nightmare wasn’t real, it felt real and you don’t want to get into an existential debate about it in the middle of the night. You also don’t want your child to think that you’re an out-of-touch adult who just doesn’t understand.
  • Empower Your Child: If your kiddo insists that a monster is under their bed or crib, check with a flashlight. Then come up with a plan to “manage” the monster if they come back. For example, your toddler can “defend” themselves against it or make friends with it. When your child is a bit older, you can teach them to take control of the nightmare by rewriting its ending or having them draw a picture of it and tearing it up.
  • Maintain a Predictable and Calming Bedtime Routine.
  • Invest in a Nightlight.
  • Offer Your Child a Transitional Object Such as a Teddy Bear or a Blankie.
  • Hang a Dreamcatcher on the Wall or From the Ceiling.

    Safety Tip: Make sure the dreamcatcher is out of reach and doesn’t have any loose strings dangling off of it or other pieces that your child could tug on.
  • Teach Your Child Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques.

    For inspiration, try the kid’s sections of the Headspace and Insight Timer apps.
  • Have Your Child Listen to Peaceful Music or to a Soothing Story Before Bed.

    PediaWise Pick: Check out the Moshi app.
  • Stay With Your Child Until They Fall Back Asleep. 

PediaTips:

  • Resist the temptation to sleep with your child after the nightmare. Why? Because you may end up falling into a co-sleeping habit that’s hard to break. Plus, it may send your child the message that they need your protection and can’t handle the nightmare on their own.
  • If your child has a recurring nightmare that causes them stress, probe a bit deeper to see if the dream is a manifestation of some deeper fear or anxiety. Most bad dreams are just dreams (sorry Freud!) but let the pediatrician know if there’s a pattern to the nightmares especially if they seem to be affecting your child’s overall wellbeing and mood throughout the day.

Managing Night Terrors

Night terrors are a bit trickier to manage than nightmares because they’re so disturbing to witness and the child has no idea what’s going on. Although night terrors are benign, it’s unnerving for parents to see their child seemingly possessed. Here are a few tips to manage night terrors:

  • Reduce Stress and Fatigue: Night terrors are often triggered by stress and fatigue, so try to minimize both at home.
  • Consider Waking Your Child Up Before the Night Terror Occurs: Some parents have had success waking their child up 15-30 minutes before an expected episode in an effort to disrupt the sleep cycle. While waking a child up always sounds like a bad idea, it can be helpful in this case. Waking a child up during the sleep terror, has not been proven to be helpful, and can actually be disorienting and anxiety-provoking for the child.
  • Remind Yourself That Your Little One Won’t Remember Their Night Terror, No Matter How Intense It Looks.

The Bottom Line

Sleep issues are common during childhood and tend to wax and wane over time. Kids tend to outgrow sleep terrors by age 12 and nightmares dissipate with age but don’t fully disappear.

Why Don’t Nightmares Go Away As We Get Older?

Researchers believe that nightmares may serve a purpose and, as a result, haven’t been weeded out of our lives by evolution. The exact purpose of nightmares, however, remains murky. Some experts believe nightmares had a protective quality for our cave people ancestors. For example, a nightmare about a wooly mammoth would keep the fear of certain predators alive and prevent our distant relatives from letting down their guard. Although wooly mammoths may be out of the picture now, we have other stressors to deal with.

Another theory is that nightmares help us process conflicts and difficult emotions in our lives and act as a “dress rehearsal” for managing them.

So, the next time your child wakes up from a nightmare, be comforted by the fact that their middle of the night freak-out is likely benefiting them in some way.

“Children are a great comfort to us
in our old age, and they help us
reach it faster, too.”

~Author Unknown

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 19 (Week 3) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

As your toddler gets deeper into the “terrible twos” you may be searching for tools to help you “discipline” them. Remember, “discipline,” in this case, means to “teach” or guide (vs. shame or admonish). 

Time-outs are one such behavioral modification tool that parents have used (with varying degrees of success) over the years. In this week’s Hot Topic we’ll discuss how to do time-outs, why some parenting experts give them the thumbs down, and what a better alternative might be. Get Wise(r) about this info below.

Time-Outs vs. Breaks

The purpose of time-outs is to stop unwanted behaviors in their tracks by temporarily separating the child from the environment where the negative behavior occurred.

Time-outs were all the rage a decade ago, but they’re beginning to lose their luster in certain circles. Critics of time-outs feel like they ostracize a child at a time when they need connection and help regulating their emotions. They also believe that kids don’t spend their time-outs reflecting on what they did wrong and instead sit in the time-out chair feeling ashamed, confused, and angry at the person who put them there.

Proponents of time-outs believe they work because they can be used anywhere and give kids (and their parents) the space and time to cool down.

If You’re a Fan of Time-Outs, Here’s the Classic Way to Do Them:

  • If your kiddo does something naughty, put them in a time-out chair away from the group or the activity. Then have them sit there until the timer goes off.
  • The length of the time-out is typically 1 minute per year of age. For example, a 2-year-old would be expected to sit in time-out for 2 minutes and a 3-year-old for 3 minutes, etc.
  • Experts typically recommend that parents wait until their kids are 18-to-24-months of age before they introduce the concept of time-outs. Some even encourage parents to delay time-outs until their kids are 3 years of age.

PediaTip: Don’t overuse the time-out or it will lose its power. It should be reserved for major infractions, not small mistakes.

A Common Question About Time-Outs

What If My Child Refuses to Sit In the Time-Out Chair? 

It’s not uncommon for parents to feel like they have to wrestle their child into the time-out chair. Here are a few ways to avoid this stressful (and not super productive) situation:

  • If your child refuses to do the time-out, make the time-out longer (i.e. double the time). This will hopefully incentivize your child to do the time-out on the first try.
  • Allow your child to stand in a time-out corner (vs. sit in a time-out chair or on a time-out step).
  • Don’t make the time-out location your child’s room.

    Why? Because you don’t want your little one to develop a negative association with their sleep space.

A Time-Out Alternative: Take a “Break” Instead

I prefer to think in “breaks” (or “resets”) rather than in “time-outs. This idea comes from Joe Newman’s book “Raising Lions.”

Although time-outs and breaks both create a pause in the activity, they differ in their approach and tone.

Time-outs are usually punitive, isolating, and reactionary (i.e. the parent gets annoyed and says “you’re in time-out”), whereas breaks come from a non-judgmental place and are done with intention and without a lot of emotion.

The goal of “breaks” is not to punish kids, but to give them the time and space to “reset” their (negative) energy and to learn from their mistakes without their parents lecturing them. Breaks also give parents the chance to reset their own energy (which may be of the “pissed off” variety).

Breaks Typically Last About 1-Minute and Can Be Done Anywhere. Here are the Steps (Modified Slightly From Raising Lions):

1. If your child misbehaves (e.g. refuses to get in their car seat), give them 5-seconds to do the right thing. You can do a 5-second countdown out loud or just count to yourself.

2. If your child continues to do the unwanted behavior, then say “ok, take a break.”

  • Your tone of voice is crucial here. Let it be light, matter-of-fact, and non-judgmental. Finding the right tone takes practice, since we usually default to an exasperated or stern tone in the face of annoying behavior.
  • Breaks are meant to be quiet, with no talking.
  • If your child is whining or crying, wait patiently for them to stop before the break officially begins. This will let them know that fussing just prolongs the break.
  • Your child can take the break where they are. There’s no shame corner in this case.

3. If your child refuses to take a break, then make the break time longer (e.g. 2 minutes).

4. Once the break is over, resist the temptation to lecture your child. Chances are your child inherently knows what they did wrong. If your kiddo seems clueless, you can offer a word or two as a hint (such as “biting” or “first-try listening”). Belaboring the point, however, will distract your child from learning from the mistake and will cause them to direct their frustration at you.

If you want to see an example of the “break” technique in action, check out this link (on Joe Newman’s website).

The Bottom Line

Helping children build skills such as impulse control and sustained focus requires time and patience. Try to have empathy and a sense of humor as you guide your child through the ups & downs of life. And don’t forget about the long-term goal: to arm your little one with useful tools so they can grow up to be an independent and emotionally aware, problem-solving adult.

“When my kids become wild and unruly,
I use a nice, safe playpen. 
When they’re finished, I climb out.”

~Erma Bombeck 

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

Welcome to Month 19 (Week 2) of Parenting Your Toddler! 

In This Week’s PediaGuide, We’ll Discuss:

Get Wise About It All Below…

At the same time that we want to build “grit” and independence in our children, we also want to protect them from getting hurt and making (“big”) mistakes.

So, where do we draw the line and how much should we intervene? Unfortunately, there’s no “right” answer to this question. Every family is different. Through trial and error, you’ll come to see what amount of freedom feels appropriate for your kiddo. I personally like the idea of setting clear boundaries and allowing children to have freedom within those boundaries (although this is easier said than done).

Get Wise below about the different parenting styles and discover which one resonates best with you.

A Review of the Different Parenting Styles

In the 1960s, Diana Baumrind, a child psychologist, described 4 major parenting styles. These classic styles are laid out for you below.

1. Authoritative (“Democratic”) Parenting: This type of parenting is a favorite of child development experts. With authoritative parenting, each voice in the family is heard and valued. Boundaries are firm and discipline is doled out in a positive way. Children brought up in “democratic” households tend to be well-adjusted and self-assured. 

2. Authoritarian Parenting (“The Dictatorship”): This style of parenting is from the “children should be seen and not heard” era (think: Don and Betty Draper in Mad Men). Authoritarian parents expect blind obedience. When asked why something has to be done, they’ll often invoke the phrase, “because I said so.” Kids of authoritarian parents tend to be well-behaved, but they may have anxiety and struggle to advocate for themselves as adults.

3. Uninvolved Parenting (aka “I’m Checked Out” Parenting): Obviously, uninvolved parenting is not the way to go. Children of uninvolved parents often feel neglected and tend to develop a host of problems down the road (such as unhealthy adult relationships and poor self-esteem).

4. Permissive (“Anything Goes”) Parenting: With permissive parenting, the children rule the roost (think: “Lord of the Flies”-JK!). Unlike detached parents, permissive parents are highly supportive (while giving their children the freedom and space to figure things out on their own). Children of permissive parents tend to be self-reliant, but they may have trouble with authority.

PediaTip: Children ultimately need boundaries, so if you go the permissive parenting route, make sure that your boundaries are clearly defined (even if they’re somewhat loose).

Additional Parenting Styles You May Have Heard About:

Attachment Parenting (aka “Joined at the Hip” Parenting)

The goal of attachment parenting is to nurture the parent-child bond above all else. Attachment parenting experts say this can be done by responding quickly to your child’s needs, feeding your baby on demand, “wearing” your baby (in a baby sling or carrier), sleeping with your baby in a “family bed,” and breastfeeding your little one for a prolonged period of time.

The term “attachment parenting” was coined by Dr. Bill Sears (a pediatrician) and his wife, Martha Sears (a nurse) in 1982. Attachment parenting has many followers, but the concept took some heat after a 2012 Time Magazine cover showed a Mom breastfeeding her (rather old-looking) 3-year-old boy next to the question “Are You Mom Enough?” 

Although attachment parenting has its critics, advocates of this approach believe that kids who form “secure” bonds with their parents grow up to be caring, confident, and empathetic individuals who build healthy relationships as adults.

Helicopter Parenting vs. Snowplow Parenting

The helicopter parent, as you’ve probably heard, is the hovering parent who’s afraid to let their child make any mistakes. These parents are overly involved and, as a result, rob their child of the chance to figure things out on their own.

The snowplow parent is a relatively new type of parent. The snowplow parent can’t bear to watch their child fail, so they clear all obstacles from the child’s path. Think: The Operation Varsity Blues college admissions cheating scandal.

An Alternative to Helicopter and Snowplow Parenting

It’s natural for parents to want to protect their children from pain, disappointment, and fear. To avoid falling into the helicopter and snowplow parenting traps, think of the long game. Ask yourself what your ultimate goal is for your child – to have them never make mistakes or to have them grow from their mistakes and build resilience?

Obviously, safety is the No. 1 priority, but as long as your child is out of danger, allow them to wrestle with challenging situations before jumping in to fix the problem.

For example, if your child is struggling to put on a sock, sit back and wait to see if they figure it out. If not, encourage them to ask for help. Asking for help is a skill, too (and one that many adults have trouble with), so it doesn’t hurt to teach it early on. If your child asks for help with the sock, resist the temptation to shove it onto their foot. Teach them how to do it, instead.

Reality Check: Obviously, if you did this with everything, it would take forever to get out of the house, so pick your battles.

A Word About Whining

Whining is common in children and is often a learned behavior. You can stop whining in its tracks by not giving in to it. If your child tries to whine to get their way, send the message loud and clear that whining will never get them what they want.

When your child whines, encourage them to find a different way to ask for the desired object. If your child successfully switches tactics (i.e. gets their emotions under control and says “please”), reward them with the object (if appropriate). This method will teach your child that whining is a no-go and there are better ways to manage conflict.

The Bottom Line

Back in the day, the authoritarian (aka dictatorship) style was all the rage. Nowadays, authoritative (democratic) parenting, permissive parenting, and attachment parenting are the styles du jour, as are the less healthy helicopter and snowplow approaches.

Take a moment to think about which parenting style works best for you and your family. You may opt for a combo of two or three of these styles or your style may change as your child gets older. We tend to default to what our parents did (or do the opposite), but if you’re intentional about your parenting, it will make you a more consistent and emotionally grounded parent.

Remember too that every child is different: one child may respond better to structure, while another child may feel stifled by strict rules and need more freedom. Therefore, allow your parenting style to be fluid and adaptable.

“If you would have your son to walk
honorably through the world, you must not
attempt to clear the stones from his path,
but teach him to walk firmly over them—
not insist upon leading him by the hand,
but let him learn to go alone.”

~Anne Brontë, “The Tenant of Wildfell Hall”

(This applies to raising daughters too!)

The Reminders for This Week are the Same as Last Week’s. Get Wise About Them Below…

  • Limit Your Child’s Whole Milk to 16-24 Ounces Per Day.
  • Feed Your Child What You Eat, But Cut into Small Pieces.
  • Steer Clear of Choking Hazards. Get Wise About the Top 10 (Food) Choking Hazards Here.
  • Brush Your Child’s Teeth Twice a Day (Especially After the Last Meal of the Night) and Have Them Visit the Dentist Every 6 Months (Unless the Dentist Says Otherwise).
  • Call the Doctor If Your Child Spikes a Fever Above 102.2°F OR If They Develop Any Other Worrisome Symptoms (Such as Lethargy or Poor Feeding).
  • Continue to Give Your Child a Daily Vitamin D Supplement (600 International Units Per Day).
  • Keep Your Child in a Rear-Facing Car Seat Until (At Least) 2 Years of Age.

And…That’s a Wrap!

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